I don’t know the exact stats offhand, but if I had to take a wild guess, most of us if not all, have been on the receiving end as well as possible violators of blurred boundary lines.
Here’s a story. I did this coaching group. I was a participant in the coaching group the first time around when I went through the program.
I went back in, and coached later as well but initially I was in the coaching group as a participant and I was there to accomplish my goals, of course. You’re instructed to set up a plan. You write it all out. what are the goals you’re gonna work on and the steps to accomplish the goals…
You have three goals that you’re working on at the time and which now looking back probably is part of the problem but anyway, you have three goals that you’re working on all at the same time in this particular coaching group and how you're going to accomplish these goals. You map it all out, the timeline is a couple of months, with goalposts and deadlines and you have a coach that you call every week, at least weekly. There were the individual coaching calls and group calls that amounted to overall more than once per week, so overall coaching calls were more than once per week …
and over the course of these calls, I just kept feeling like, we’re definitely off track from anything that is even remotely related to my goals.
Sure, We were furthering the agenda of bringing more people into the program, which it was a program with benefit, but not much time if any was spent focused on my goals which is the main reason why I’m here and why I signed up for the program in the first place and what I was told the main focus of the extended program was about.
So, one day this coach asks me, “what can I do in order to better serve you as a coach,”
and I thought about it for maybe half a second because I knew right away what was clearly lacking, so then in turn what was needed from a coach in order to accomplish goals.
I said simply, “remind me of my goals”.
That’s it. I knew at that point, that was what was needed.
Just remind me of my goals because if you/me, any of us are at a minimum focused on our goals and not intentionally led elsewhere, there’s a much higher likelihood that you're going to achieve the goal. (nod) here’s the thing, especially when you don’t have anyone in your immediate surroundings who has done what you are attempting to do, just by spending deliberate time focused on your goal, Your mind might even help you to figure out what it is that you need to do, or ask, or seek, or who you may need to get in touch with, and so on, Just by being focused on that goal.
I didn’t need to discuss really anything else with this person at this point in time. 1st do this one thing then we can move on to the other parts, maybe, if need be.
OK , we’ve established that’s what I want. Now, I didn’t realize at the time that she also needed someone to remind her of the thing that she is supposed to remind me of, because the next time we were on the phone and the time after that I don’t think my goals came up. She went right back to the alternate agenda entirely, of not bringing up my goals.
How does this relate to boundaries? You have an agreement with a person, an organization, an establishment that’s ran by people, but people don’t always adhere to the direct agreement with the person they are interacting with, sometimes they have an alternate agenda, theirs or someone else's or they’re not really focused on anything at all, which is quite common.
So we’ve decided to gather an interest list for a program where you get the exact agreement that was established. A little experiment if you will that's designed with the purpose of helping you stay focused on the goal of your choosing. Which is so helpful!
🙂We’re collecting the interest list for said program and we’re really looking forward to it. I think it will be a lot of fun.
Click the button to the right where you can sign up to get on the list to be a part of the coolest crew in town.
For more stories and lessons check out some of my other episodes in the series. Thank you for showing up and be well.
Show Host for Stories and Lessons
Welcome to Stories and Lessons with Amy Ebert, where we delve into a wide range of topics like parenting, homeschooling, self-improvement, goal setting, and daily living. We aim to educate, entertain, and engage listeners through captivating stories, informative interviews, and lively discussions covering relationships, boundaries, goals, self-help, personal growth, finance, family, education, kids, youth sports, and principles.
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